I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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