Farmville is her only friend.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
