In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
