Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
