This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
