Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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