Plan B is the new Plan A
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Randomize
