I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
