Dude my mom stole all your condoms
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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