Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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