FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
