But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
