My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
you never un-have a 4some
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
