my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
