I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
this hospital has no fireball
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
