just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
