I can text with my tongue
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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