i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
