Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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