Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
