every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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