So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
