Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
