scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Who died my cat blue again?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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