What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
it's like heaven, but drunker
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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