Betty ford says i'm here all night
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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