I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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