i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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