If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
