Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He passed out mid-signature
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
