My sheets look like a crime scene.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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