someone owes me an orgasm
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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