What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
