I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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