i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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