dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so let's talk penis.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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