when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
