marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She bit a glass in half.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
