wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
