Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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