Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
