I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
