Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Never underestimate the power of titties
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize