white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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