i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
