So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
