when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We are two peas in an std pod
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
How external is "for external use only"?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
