Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
