what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
