we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We need a shit load of segways right now
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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