I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
