erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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