Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
