R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
